Good Sleep & Sleep Training Is Essential For All Ages Including Toddlers

Good sleep is essential for people of all ages - so why does it seem like your child never wants to make the transition from awake time to sleep time? 

If your child has progressed from sleeping in a crib to sleeping in a toddler bed, that transition can be even more difficult - and for several reasons. For one, you are probably tired and irritated. Second, many of the classic sleep training concepts you’ve tried probably don’t work. After all, your child is too old and too stubborn now for this technique to work.

However, there are a few sleep training techniques you can incorporate into your parenting to make your life a little easier. The goal here is to lessen your involvement at bedtime to teach your child how to deal with your absence and get to sleep on his own.

The best way to start sleep training? With lots of praise and encouragement for your child - and as little frustration (if possible!) on your part. You can also try some of these helpful sleep training techniques to make the transition (and your parenting chores!) a little bit easier.

How to Sleep Train Your Toddler

There are several different methods you can try to sleep train your toddler. Here are a few of our favorites.

Pick Up Put Down Sleep Method

The pick up put down method is a basic sleep training method that works best with kids aged nine to eighteen months. It will encourage your child to stay in the room until he or she falls asleep, yet also gives them some space and independence to begin to work things out on their own over time. 

With this method, you’ll put on some strong white noise in the bedroom.  You should sit quietly next to your child’s crib or toddler bed, responding to cries for attention by picking up and cuddling your child. This should be done only briefly, though - as soon as your child calms down, you should put him back in the crib. You can stay in the room until he falls asleep.

Theoretically, your child will cry less frequently and for a shorter period of time over the course of a few days. As he improves, you can move your chair further from the bed or crib and closer to the door (and eventually out of the room entirely).

After a while, you can add a few changes to this routine. You can leave the room completely for short periods once he starts falling asleep with fewer “pick up” sessions during the intervention. 

You might want to make a rule with your child that you will stay in the room but only if he remains in his own bed. If he gets out of bed, you are going to have to leave. You can even incorporate special passes that entitle your child to special privileges if he is able to stay in his bed the whole night.

Here’s how this would work. 

You give your child two “special passes” at the beginning of the night. If your child calls you because they want another hug, they want water, or they have to go to the bathroom, you will go back, but he has to give up a pass. If your child still has the passes in the morning, they will get a prize, like a cookie or a dollar.

If this method doesn’t work, don’t panic. There are plenty of other sleep training methods you can try.

Cry It Out Method

Cry it out is a hotly contested method, and some parents really dislike it. After all, you probably don’t want to hear your child scream and cry for hours on end. A truly slip-resistant child can cry for hours. However, over time, you will teach your child that screaming and crying is not the way to get what they want.

You can also try the longer and longer method, which is the cry it out method but adapted for a toddler. It can be tough to be corporate, as toddlers are notoriously strong-willed, but with a bit of practice, is a technique you can incorporate over time.

This is a good method to consider trying if you find that you are totally out of patience. There might be some extra friction from your child if you decide to try this method, but it can be effective, particularly if you incorporate white noise at bedtime for at least a week beforehand.

The longer and longer method (as well as the cry it out method) shouldn’t be done completely at random - the goal here is not to allow your child to scream his head off with no kind of routine or control. Instead, there is some strategy involved. 

For example, close the door when you put your child to bed. Let him cry for three minutes, then pop your head in to make sure he’s ok. Allow him to see that you haven’t abandoned him. Tell him you love him, but that it’s time to go to sleep.

You may have to stay for a minute or two - the length of the visit will depend on you and your child - but ultimately, you don’t want to give in to too much time in the room, as this can indicate to your child that you might stay for good and encourage more screaming when you leave the room.

For this technique to work, you should take on more time each time you leave the room. After the first visit, wait five minutes to come back and check in on your child. The second time, wait ten minutes. Then check in every fifteen minutes until she falls asleep. If necessary, you can do a feeding if the wake-ups happen in the middle of the night, but again, you’ll want to repeat the longer-and-longer method for consistency and good results. 

You need to be patient to see results with this technique. The first night, you might find that your stubborn toddler cries for an hour or more, which can make you lose your willpower fast. However, you should try to stick with it and don’t lose your determination. If you give in after just an hour of crying, you are going to teach her the wrong lesson. Hold out - usually, by the time you get to the third night, you’ll notice significant results. 

If you don’t see results by the fourth night, you might want to rethink bedtime and your bedtime routine entirely. Are you putting your child to bed too early or too late? Are there any stressors that might be causing difficulties in your child’s life? If you can’t adjust any of these factors, you may want to consider whether you are staying too long or talking too much when you visit your child’s room between screaming sessions.

Tailor this to your child and his or her personality. Each personality will require a slightly different approach - feel free to adapt as needed. Try to keep yourself calm, too, as the quickest way to fail at this technique is to lose your cool.

Fading Method

The fading method is a wonderful sleep training program to try if you have a child who is used to being rocked to sleep or held until he falls asleep. This is similar to the aforementioned pick up put down method of sleep training but it’s a better choice for bigger, older toddlers.

It can be a big challenge for a child to go from being a lap sleeper to a bed sleeper - that’s a huge life transition!  You don’t want to take away your child’s cuddle sessions cold turkey, so you’ll need to incorporate some strategy instead.

Here’s how it works. 

Put your child in his crib or bed when he is still awake but slightly drowsy. Leave the room and shut the door behind you. If your toddler gets fussy, don’t enter the room right away. Wait a few minutes and enter only if the crying continues. If you do go back in, you can soothe your child by rubbing his back until he is calm. Then, leave the room again - repeating this process as needed.

The caveat to this is if your child is already sleeping in a toddler bed. If you walk into the room and see that your child is no longer in bed, you will need to pick him up and put him back in bed. Give him a hug and cuddle him briefly. All soothing should be done in bed. Then, you can leave.

As with the other sleep training methods, you may need to follow this technique for several nights. Don’t give in to frustrations, though. This method is a great way to teach your child how to self-soothe. Over time, they’ll fall asleep with minimal fussing.

Camp It Out Method

If you need to transition your child from sleeping in a crib or your bed to their own toddler kids mattress, you can try the camp it out method. With this technique, you’ll put your child in his own bed and then camp out in his room for a few nights, sleeping on an air mattress or sleeping pad.

As soon as your toddler has gotten used to sleeping in his own bed, you can make the transition to sitting in a chair near the bed and leaving the room when they fall asleep. Do this for a few nights, then on the last night, put your child to bed as you normally would and then leave the room - no sitting.

There may be some fusing early on. If so, wait a few minutes to see if he falls asleep before you go into the room.

Rehearsals

Part of establishing a functional, effective routine is practicing it with your child often. There are several ways you can do this.

For example, consider doing a mini version of bedtime earlier in the day. You don’t have to get in pajamas or brush your teeth, but you can! Mimic the other steps of bedtime, all the way up to getting in bed and falling asleep. Make sure you provide your child with plenty of reinforcement. 

Don’t be afraid to get a little goofy, either. You can play-act and pretend to be your child and let your child be the parent. Make it as fun as you can, because this will encourage your child to be excited about bedtime.

Try to practice this little rehearsal or routine a few times a week, and rehearse a few hours before bedtime. This can reduce a lot of the stress, frustration, and anxiety associated with bedtime.

Use Plenty Of Positive Reinforcement In Sleep Training For Your Toddler

Not sure how and when to make the transition from a crib to a toddler bed?

There is no magic number - you’ll need to make the change that is right for your child and for your individual circumstances. There are some signs that a child is ready for a new bed, though, such as climbing out of the crib and becoming fully potty trained.

To make the transition a bit easier, consider positioning the toddler bed in the same spot as the crib and don't decorate the room. Try not to overwhelm your child with too much change all at once - if he is potty training, starting a new daycare, or expecting a sibling, don’t make this transition until the other changes have subsided.

Use plenty of positive reinforcement as well. This is a tip that will serve you well in every aspect of sleep training your toddler, so be sure to lay it on heavy! You don’t necessarily even need to use tangible rewards like toys or food. Often, you can convince your child to make the transition and to develop good sleep habits with the power of positive words alone.

A sleep-deprived toddler is a scary thing - he will be more prone to the sillies, crankiness, tantrums, and everything in between. A good sleep routine can preserve your child’s sanity - as well as your own! - and while it can be tough to get him established with a good routine, it’s absolutely essential when it comes to developing sleep skills that will last for life. Good luck, and good night!

Shana Thompson is a full time professional writer and editor. Shana has worked extensively in the fields of content marketing, on-page and off-page SEO (guest posts, backlink acquisition), and creative writing. As an experienced pro content writer, Shana has worked on several magazines, publishing companies and marketing agencies. Many recent projects have included everything from nutrition and health services, where a lot of research and citations were needed, to writing about health, sustainable, eco-friendly products.

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